Truly Tasteless Jokes
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Jan 16: How many beaurocrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Two.  One to screw it in and one to screw it up.
 
Jan 25: What's worse than a piano out of tune?
    An organ that goes flat in the middle of the night.
 
Feb 01: How did the mathematician cure his constipation?
    He worked it out with a pencil.
 
Feb 09: When does a Jewish man stop masturbating?
    When his wife dies.
 
Feb 14: How do you re-use a condom?
    Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
 
Feb 25: Stewardess: "Would you like some TWA soda, TWA coffee, or TWA milk?"
        Dirty old man: "How about some TWA tea."
 
Feb 28: What's so special about the elevator at Bloomingdale's?
    It's the only thing a JAP will go down on.
 
Mar 03: What do you call a bouncer in a gay bar?
    A Flamethrower.
 
Mar 25: How do you make a woman scream twice?
    Fuck her in the ass, then wipe it on the curtains.
 
Apr 02: Hear about the new radio station WPMS?
    Three weeks of the blues and one week of ragtime.
 
Apr 06: Why do Jewish men watch porno flicks backwards?
    They like to see the prostitute hand the money back.
 
Apr 07: What do you call 50,000 African-Americans jumping out of a plane?
    Night.
 
Apr 15: [tax day]  What does the IRS have in common with a condom?
    Both stand for inflation, halt productivity, cover up pricks,
    and most can see right through them.
 
May 01: Why is a honeymoon never seven days long?
    Because seven days makes a whole week.
 
Q:  What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A:  They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
 
One for all the estate agents out there:
Q:  What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A:  A vacant possession.
 
Q:  What do you call a man who has had his automobile stolen?
A:  Carlos.
 
A man and his young bride have just gotten married and set out on their 
honeymoon. The first night together he asked his new wife to try on his 
pants. She asks why, but he insists. "O.K, but just this once" She tries 
them on and says "...but these don't fit..." To this he replied "I am the
man of the house and I want you to know I am the one who wears the pants in 
this family!!" Then she asks him to try on her pants, after trying to 
squeeze into them he finally gives up , "...I can't get in them..." To which 
she said "..and you won't be getting in them as long as you keep that 
attitude!"