SCIENCE JOKES
			  ===============
 
 
Q: What does a wavefunction say after being integrated too much?
A: psi [this one is funny in print if you use the greek letter]
 
Q: What do you get when you cross and elephant with a pygmy?
A: elephant pygmy sin theta
 
Big whirls have little whirls that feed on their velocity; and little
whirls have lesser whirls, and so on to viscosity.
-- Lewis Richardson
 
Heisenberg may have been here.
-- grafitti in a physics lab
 
Ludwig Boltzmann, who spent much of his life studying statistical
mechanics, died in 1906, by his own hand. Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on
the work, died similarly in 1933. Now it is our turn to study
statistical mechanics. Perhaps it will be wise to approach the subject
cautiously.
-- David L. Goodstein [ _States of Matter_ ]
 
  Surely, Professor Bohr, you do not really believe that a horseshoe over
the entrance to a home brings good luck?
  No, I certainly do not believe in this superstition. But you know, they
say it brings luck even if you don't believe in it.
-- A house visitor and Niels Bohr
 
Beware the quantum duck. Quark! Quark! Quark!
-- unknown
 
There was a young lady named Bright
whose speed was far faster than light.
She left one day,
in a relative way,
and returned home the previous night!
-- unknown
 
Bischoff, one of the leading anatomists of Europe, thrived in the 1870s.
He carefully measured brain weights, and after many years' accumulation
of much data he observed that the average weight of a man's brain was 1350
grams, that of a woman only 1250 grams. This at once, he argued, was
infallible proof of the mental superiority of men over women. Throughout his
life he defended this hypothesis with the conviction of a zealot. Being the
true scientist, he specified in his will that his own brain be added to his
impressive collection. The postmortem examination elicited the interesting
fact that his own brain weighed only 1245 grams.
-- Scientific American [March 1992]
 
But in physics I soon learned to scent out the paths that led to the
depths, and to disregard everything else, all the many things that
clutter up the mind, and divert it from the essential. The hitch in this
was, of course, the fact that one had to cram all this stuff into one's
mind for the examination, whether one liked it or not.
-- Albert Einstein
 
When a distinguished and elederly scientist says something is possible he
is probably right; if he says that something is impossible he is almost
certainly wrong.
-- Arthur C. Clarke